Bruised and Battered

What is your attitude, on a scale of 1-10, when unexpected situations/events slow you down and keep you from doing what matters most?

One Sunday, I got up bright and early to greet the morning sun. Although I had a list of things to do and places to go before heading to church, I had plenty of time to embrace the picture-perfect day.

As I made my way to my first destination, I noticed a mass of marathoners (all decked out in blue) making their way towards me.  In an effort to avoid them, I turned off on a side street and drove in a different direction. To my surprise, I met up with them again and ended up following them at a snail's pace all the way to my, correction, "our" destination.

After getting back on track, I noticed my gas tank was empty.  Grateful that "gas" was next on my list, I breathed a sigh of relief and set out for the nearest gas station. When I arrived, the only available pump had an "Out of Order" sign on it, so I was forced to wait until one of the working pumps was free.  When I was finally ready to pump gas, I slid my cash card through the card reader and placed the hose in my gas tank, but was unable to get the pump to work.  When I looked up at the screen, it read, "Insert cash." Insert CASH?! What?

After swallowing hard, I made my way into the store to get immediate assistance from the cashier, only to find a long line of customers waiting to make small purchases.  When it was finally my turn, I explained my problem with the pump, hoping for a quick resolution and some sympathy.  Instead, the cashier rolled his eyes, shrugged his shoulders, and coldly said, “Hang up the pump and try again, lady.”   

Frustrated with what I had just been through, I returned to the pump and started over.  This time, the pump accepted my card, but before I could fill the tank, my sunglasses got tangled up in my long hair, and it took me forever to free them.  

With so many obstacles in my way, I didn't think I would ever get to church. When I finally arrived, I needed the peace of God to pass over me. As I slipped into the auditorium and wearily sank into my seat, I was met with the morning message, "When the Going Gets Tough”.  Unlike everything else that happened that morning, the timing of this message was perfect.

When setbacks steal your joy and keep you from achieving your goals, they can leave you feeling anxious and annoyed.  When they occur often, they can cause unnecessary stress, fatigue, sickness, and self-pity. Joel Osteen says that although you "may get knocked down on the inside, the key to living in victory is to get up on the inside."

When you are caught off guard by life's challenges, here are 7 tips and strategies to help you take back your power:

1.      Anticipate obstacles.  Don’t be caught off guard. 

2.      Focus on solutions. Don't get caught up in the details of what's not working; do what you can, where, and when you can to improve your situation.

3.      Examine your expectations. Are they serving you well or causing you stress? If your expectations are unrealistic and your situation does not change, you may need to adjust them.

4.      Watch your words. They can make you bitter or better. Replace statements like, "This always happens to me" or "Because of XYZ, my whole day is ruined" with statements like, "I'm not where I want to be yet" and "Everyone has setbacks from time to time, this too shall pass."

5.      Monitor your emotions. If the same feelings keep coming up when things don't go your way, find out what's driving your responses so that you don't do or say something you may later regret.

6.      Adopt a new perspective. Imagine your obstacles from the perspective of other parties involved. For example, the marathoners who slowed me down may have been focused on reaching their finish line and promoting their cause, the customers in line at the gas station may have been caught up in meeting their immediate needs, and the gas station cashier may have been working solo and was too overwhelmed to be polite.   

7.      Let go of what you can't control. Focus on what is working for you.

If you want to get beyond where you are today and are ready to get unstuck in your personal and/or professional life, contact me to see if coaching is right for you.

Until next time,

Kris Anderson

Life Coach and Motivational, Transformational Speaker

comealiveandthrivewithkris.com